320980210

i don't know what i do wrong
but there isn't a week before
i say something that harm
someone i care about

i hurt their feelings
it hurts myself too
i'm just trying...

and i have failed so many times so far

i don't know if they can take it anymore

the agony is suffocating me
nausea
i want to vomit
i look at myself in the mirror
disgust
i want to disappear
i'm disgusted of myself
i want to ride the blade tonight
i to get rid of my agony
i don't want to go through with this again
i'm sick
sick of myself
wish i could fly away from everything
leave everything behind
just get the hell out of here
but i'm stuck
alone
with myself
my own enemy...

i want to kill him
but that means i will lose her
and she will lose me
for what cost?
my egoistic thoughts should be vanished
so i could start over again

Ošklivost

i'm nothing, even though you may think so

don't come near me
i have long grains
that might hurt you

i'm nothing
i'm nothing
i'm nothing

just a ugly tree, cut down
even if i'm growing, i don't have any roots
all i have
is the grains, that no one want to be hurt by

i don't deserve anything

and i really don't want to hurt you

97097932

i am nothing
i don't deserve anything
not you
not her
not them
not anyone
i destroy you
i destroy her
i destroy them
and myself
my existence is nothing but a failure
my childhood
my presence
my words
my expressions
my body

00948520

i'm walking on this path again
alone
without no one to hold my hand
no one to help me out of this
alone
alone
fucking alone
i hate being alone
my self-contempt is growing and growing
every time i see myself in the mirror
melancholy, emptiness and loneliness
fills me
all i can think of now is alcohol
get away from it all
away from this ugly shitty world
help me get away...
please...
anyone?

0228725.

7 months since almost everything went wrong...

048281.

i'm malice
uncomfortable
im scared
despise
my shell
my body
my everything

carefully
restrained
i carve
my thoughts
on my skin
every drop
of my fluid
warms me

it flows
its beautiful
it gives me
...nothing

but you
make me
feel a
little hope
for something
beautiful to
happen...

but my inner confusions
sends me back to the circle
to my daily habits

oh, i wish you were here
oh, i wish you were here
oh, i wish you were here
to whisper my name

between these four walls
only drugs
only alcohol
only you
calm me down

beat down the walls for me
come to me
and save me
from everything
and nothing
pull me out of the circle
but dont let me ruin you...